Sushi recipes witout raw fish ;)

 Sushi is nice, I always think so. And I want to make anything what I regard it as nice. So I made it a few days ago ;) Basically, sushi consists of raw fish and rice. Rice? Probably it's not that difficult to get. However, what about raw fish? Is it easy? These days you can get tasty raw fish anywhere by importing with airplanes and ships. But.... what if you can't get it neither? Then cook what you can get :) I have to admit that some people in my country think sushi should be made of rice and raw fish, I personally don't think so though.

 I bought all ingredients a day before this event. But precooking was way harder and time-consuming than I had thought at first. Making three or four kinds of sauces, chopping vegetables, boiling and so on. I started to do it  around 10:00 and not finished yet at 15:30, when my friend came in my home to cook together. I read some recipes in books, then here it is :)

You want to know what kind of sushi I cooked, don't you? :D Well, let's take a look one by one.
 1 Fried shrimp, sliced cabbages with tartar sauce
 2 Sliced roast beef and avocado, with grated horseradish
 3 Sardines in oil, sliced onions and some kind of alfalfa
 4 Raw ham and Welsh onions
 5 Smoked salmon, scrambled eggs with Tuna from can, and sliced cucumbers
 6 Tasted mushrooms and Welsh onions (again!).
 7 Fish minced and steamed which is with mayonnaise, and salty cucumbers (again!)

 We were all amateurs and we didn't even know how to make rice look well shape. Probably I would have asked him (It links an older post of this blog) :)

 Because I rather picked foods originally from Western such as Sardines in oil (it was from Portugal, I learned later), roast beef (We call it the same name as the imported word by the way ;)), raw ham and so forth. There are many ingredients that I hadn't heard of.
 'What is horseradish?! I can't even imagine what it's like! Salty? Spicy? Big shape? Expensive? I don't know anything about it!'
 Cooking is always fan. What makes it so enjoyable for me is I can find something completely new. 'Roast beef and rice seasoned with vinegar???? No way! I strongly suggest we should eat separately!' That person (It was me :P) admired it immediately after tasting one portion of them. I like to create fun. I'll keep on making something new ;)


Fresh start, again.

 I'm sorry for my depressed post last night, I am. I would like to take some rest, maybe a year or two to travel around the world, like from Thailand, across Eurasia, then go into Africa. Hm.... How to deal with my money situation and the job I belong now? They never accept my desire to traveling, you think? Well... I've already done it all, I mean, traveling. And by looking at pictures I took, that relieves me a bit, yet surely. Tomorrow I have a day off. Given the drained days I spent, I will go eat a restaurant, probably sushi. No music, no reading, no cooking tomorrow, just think nothing, I promise.
 Oh, it hits 23:21 and soon it comes a new day. Let me start all over once again, please :)

P.S. I'm really hungry by the way! What should I do for this?! Eating such a mid-night? It must be bad for my health. Ah, I go to an Indian restaurant nearby to eat, just for today, okay? :) :)

Thoughts during difficult days.

 Making things improved by myself. It's one of the most happiest things to me. Everytime I find a way to make thing better, regardless of the size of it, I feel comfortable, ease, and have a little smile on my face. Also, I like seeing something fertilize my life, like a laptop I bought lately. It was stunning, first time I touched, I thought 'It's absolutely completed computer, there's no progress anymore.'

 However, there seems no end. Even if it looks perfect, things go further and further. Recently I found myself that my way of taking photographs could be better than the present as well, only if I don't give up living.

  Here's always struggle in my mind, whether keep living with a whole bunch of bitterness, such as the illness which gets me seriously down over 200 days a year. Life is hard, and so is everyone. I don't want to be self-pity though, sometimes like the dead of night now, I can't help thinking it's time to be over.

 Suicide never solves problems. Every now and then I think it's only way to solve everything, but it's opposite, it definitely destroies everything. I want to see the future, the future which is way better than now, including me. So.... tonight, instead of my recent routine of endless overdose, just let me lay down on my bed. It's okay if I can't sleep at all. Hopefully, looking at sunrise makes a little smile on my face.

24th July 2013, late evening


What's done is done.


My weight decreased 9kg past two and half months. I know something wrong, but I don't know what exactly wrong. Illness or what. Well....it's okay. I really don't want to go to hospital anymore. What's done is done.


Meals I ate lately.

 I like cooking. Once I find foods I like, I can't help but cooking by myself. Italian, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Thai.... I can't say which one is my best, I like them all :)
 Above: I cooked a kind of sushi :D Vinegared rice, ginger, herbs, salmon and so on. This wooden square box is called "masu", a traditional measure in my country. When you pick uncooked rice, for example, you use it. it can take almost 180ml ;)

 And rice balls! :D I bought and ate them on the table in a convenience store. They usually sell rice balls around 1-1.5US$ each.

 Buffet! This restaurant also runs farms and cottages somewhere in a rural, so they can serve fresh vegetables and rice, even tea which they made!

Rice, pickles and miso(soy paste) soup^^

Another miso soup, you think? Non ;) It's a sweets named "oshiru-ko". Many people from abroad are surprised to see that it is sugar taste with beans!

 Gelato, green tea, cakes and stuff.... I can't eat anymore XD

 Green tea always makes me feel comfortable. You know, when things get me down, I can't cook at all. I tend to go out for eating such times. Yes, it costs much sometimes though, if it makes me feel any better, that's must be nice, and I don't think it wastes my money, at all.

In closing.....

 Sushi, again :) We call it "Temari-zushi". Many sushi are rectangle shapes, however, it looks like balls. The name Temari is a traditional ball in my country. Because this kind of sushi really resemble to it, they named so.
 Do you think I ate it in some restaurant or I cooked it myself? Well, I did it! :) :)


A short walk in Atsuta Shrine, Nagoya.

 During the stay in Nagoya, my home town, I went to Atsuta Shrine, a kind of religious and historical place in this town for a chore to do.

 I took subways from my home to the destination. Since it's really hot and humid here in this country, it was comfortable both waiting for a train and in it.

 Atsuta Shrine is located in Nagoya city, where is the forth biggest city in my country. Because this religion so called "Shinto" think it's important to be clean, they always have a place to wash your hands. 

 It is not like "A forest is there in the middle of Atsuta Shrine", but it's more like "Atsuta Shrine is there in the middle of a forest". It's surrounded by a whole bunch of trees.

 "I like this atmosphere." I said myself. There were not so many people inside though, some elders and young people enjoyed walking.

 The many bowed their heads in front of a gate, or when they entered it with their hats uncovered. But others just ignored it, like me. "I like the way it is." Again, I said myself.

It's all your call whether you believe a religion or not. And this religious place seemed to be so. Even when I took pictures anywhere including important buildings, guards and relative people never said anything to me. They just stood there. We have a right to believe something we want to believe, and more importantly, we also have a right not to believe what you don't want to believe. I'm not a person who believe Shinto, still I sometimes come visit here for taking a rest.

I always go to temples and shrines when I need some air because I like all of them, despite I don't believe both. The traditional way of roofs, beautiful tiny gardens, trees and leaves....everything. There are a few places where old good Japan still remains. And I really respect people who believe something strongly. They have the thing what I don't have.

Whenever visiting temples and shrines, it reminds me of a story of mine. It was the way from Nagoya to Tokyo by motorcycle, probably late 2006. Driving for a few hours made me tired, so I found a temple on a hill to take a rest and eat some food. I took my motorcycle in front of the temple, ate some rice balls made my own. I believe it was spring and warm enough. Eating a bit, looking at green colored trees, then back to eating....Nobody was there, I was alone.....Absolutely the happiest moment ever at that time.

 I know Japanese have a unique mentality. They celebrate a new year by going to temples and shrines on 1st January, but they celebrate their weddings in churches. What is happening?! It looks they have no discipline. 

 One thing I think is that going to temples and shrines are no longer religious purpose, at least for me. It's more like my own culture. I don't believe their religions, but I respect it deeply.

 If you visit there, you'll understand it more. Atuta Shrine is really important place for Shinto. they said that this year 2013 it became 1900 year-old. it has a long history, but once you go out and come back to a station nearby, you'll find starbucks, Kebab stall, and convenience stores. They all co-exist peacefully.

I just hope its way will last long. 

 Well, I'll be back soon ;)


Collapse, or...


Rainy season finally finished in Tokyo a few days ago and we have over 35 degrees C with incredible humidity past a few days as well. Despite I like summer more than any other seasons, devastating days of depression has still hit to me over and over, I'm just exhausted. Gradually, things go from bad to worse. It deeply makes me think that it's over so frequently. I stop cooking, talking, working, reading, taking pictures, everything. Just sitting on my chair and sigh.

The first fireworks for me this year. Taken from my balcony, but I don't remember when I took.


Things aren't good these days and I know it all happens in my mind. It's really, really easy to get over: stop thinking this ridiculous self-destruction wish, just take a deep breath, take some rest and eat delicious meals.
........Okay, I'm going back to my hometown Nagoya tomorrow, to make things better.


Around 14 cakes, diary and more ;)

I had had hard days this week. Especially yesterday, it was on the brink of hurting myself. When I realized it, I decided then and there that "I do something I've never done before today!". So I took trains to go to one of the most popular, sophisticated patiserries in my country. I took a glance at the showcase which was filled with eye-filling cakes, then told them, "I would like to buy all kinds, from first to last, all of them." Hence, I got 14 cakes (It was about 90US$, for the record) and after that, dropping in at my workplace to give some of them. "You're off today, you know.", my boss told with some surprise. "Well, I have something to you." He was really amazed when I showed it because he always told me he wanted to eat those cakes but he can't since his days off always the same of the patiserrie. By the time I finally came back my home, I had six cakes with my hands. I ate them all in the evening, of course :)


I started to write diary with my hands these days. I'm not sure how long it could last though, it makes my thoughts more well-organized than before anyway ;)


Slipping away for a while.

I'm almost running out of my entire energy both for physical and mental. Let me just take some medicines so that I can sleep a day or two... Hopefully everything is going to be fine when I wake up.